This week has been somewhat difficult for me emotionally. There are times that I get too into my head and can't find my way out. And this past week was one of those times. I had way too much on my mind, I was tired because I haven't been sleeping well. By this morning I was at my limit. I honestly didn't even want to get out of bed. But I did. And I had a song stuck in my head. It's one of the most popular songs of the summer 'Fight Song'. (If you haven't heard it yet, you should give it a listen.) Mr Caramel has this theory that the best solution for songs stuck in your head, is to actually listen to them. And that's what I did. And I'm glad I did.
It reminded me that even though I am so tired - physically and emotionally - I still have some fight left in me. I started thinking of all the things that I've fought for in my life. I've been fighting and struggling for so long. I fought to come to the U.S to go to college, when so many people said I couldn't. I sent out close to a hundred job applications before getting my dream job. I fought to marry Mr Caramel when some of the closest people in my life didn't approve (and still don't). But each time I fight and succeed, it makes the victory so much sweeter.
So I'm going to keep fighting because I have so many dreams that haven't been realized yet. I will take Mr Caramel to see the place where I grew up, even though it costs thousands of dollars. I will get my American Green Card, even though the American immigration process is costly, difficult and time-consuming. Mr Caramel and I will own a home of our own some day. One day, we'll have the life we're dreaming of - complete with kids, dog and porch swing. You know why? Because I'm still fighting. And the difference this time is that I have someone fighting with me. This is not to negate all the wonderful people who've supported me all along. But it's different having someone to actually fight with me, to believe in the same things that I do and to hold me at night when I'm ready to throw in the towel.
I believe in my dreams. Passionately. I've always gone after what I wanted with everything I had. And I'm not about to change that. So I'm going to fight. And keep fighting. And one day, my dreams will explode into reality.